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The Academyof Physical and Social Development |
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Parent Connection: Termination The beginning of spring is often associated with flowers and trees blooming, getting outdoors regularly and the start of nicer weather. However, there is an extremely powerful "ending" that comes with spring as well. As the structure in a child's life (such as school, extra curricula activities and their Academy group) draws to a close, many children start to display "termination" or "ending" behavior. Certainly these endings are "part of life" and have a normalized developmental aspect to them, however, they often bring about an array of feelings and emotions that should not be minimized. When else in your life will you have "everything" end at the same time? One of the final goals we work on with all the children is helping them learn to say good-bye properly so that they can say hello properly to the next person, opportunity or beginning (this skill is one they will use throughout their life-time). Children can have difficulty understanding, putting into perspective and/ or expressing these feelings in an appropriate way. Common feelings and behaviors we see around "termination time" include but are not limited to:
You may also find these behaviors present in school or other activities. Towards the end of the year children might start to say how they, "Never really liked the group" or conversely may not want to leave the group when it is over. Around endings, behavior may not always be as it appears. We try and help the children understand what they may be feeling by reflecting back to them scripts such as: " Are you feeling upset that the group (activity) is ending?" " It's hard when things end and you wish they were not." "Are you nervous about starting camp or ending school?" Successful endings increase the chances that the child will integrate the preceding work. Rushed or abrupt endings to the group can leave a child with unanswered questions, resentment and the benefits of the intervention may be lost. Some of the ways we try for a successful ending (defined as time to discuss the feelings and emotions to the extent the children are able to) is by setting aside up to 8 - 10 weeks to debrief this process. Further, groups will have goodbye parties throughout Period IV when both individuals and the group as a whole end. (If you will be sending in a treat, please be mindful of allergies and send in ONLY STORE BOUGHT SNACKS SO THAT WE CAN SEE THE INGREDIENTS. Please, no homemade snacks.) Also, the structure of the group will start to shift. For example, groups may have a longer "check-in" time or may go to the park as a way of highlighting that the group can tolerate a different approach because they have worked so hard. Because of the importance and emphasis we place on the ending we ask that you let us know in advance if there are changes in your originally contracted Period IV enrollment. This will give the staff and the group an opportunity to end the experience properly. |
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